The Ends of the Earth

It wasn’t that she wanted rid of him so much as she wanted to put as much geographical space between herself and him as she could possibly manufacture. In the first instance, this is just to another city a mere 60 miles away so it is no problem for him to commute on through and stay with her in her mum’s house where there also appears to reside a number of young women whose central occupation at once becomes startlingly apparent due to their almost constant partial nudity.

But now, she has taken a further step away from him by moving to a little town just outside St. Ives in Cornwall where she shares a beach house with an Australian surfer named Judd. No matter, he can still make bi-monthly visits but is somewhat disappointed to be offered the ‘guest room’ which he suspects is an only partially converted coal cellar outside the confines of the main house where she and Judd appear to share more than just the basic amenities.

But, this latest news! Venezuela! I know little of this country except roughly where it is. She is living among the Wayuu people teaching them ‘courtship dances’ and the harsh environment they live in on the Guajira Peninsula is notoriously difficult to get to and dangerous due to the firearm trading. Still, I trade in some Ernie bonds and, though it takes me a month, 

I manage to get there before being held captive in a disused drainage pipe. I manage to catch a glimpse of her dancing seductively for some of the elders before being despatched out into the scrubland after being whipped to within about an inch of my life.

Last I heard she was training to be an astronaut!