“You are continually reborn until you find your way out”
So said Tam McGuire who was never socially-distanced enough for anyone’s liking. You’d be standing there at the bar supping your pint and being quite delighted with it and, suddenly, he’d come out with these things and your quietude and calm disappeared in a blink.
“Whit’s that Tam?” some dolt would ask him.
“Central tenet of Buddhist thought” he’d inform us. We who were mere drinkers in the Central Bar on Leith Walk and not Buddhists at all.
“We have several lives and transitions before we achieve enlightenment” he extrapolates no longer quite sure what he’s talking about.
“Does Buddha say anything about mair drink? It’s your round ya auld chancer!” This offered somewhat unkindly by Brian ‘Tich’ Thompson who is called Tich because he’s absolutely huge – as big as a Buddha, in fact. He was this globular shape either because he has a profound glandular problem or because he’s a greedy bastard.
That the Buddha should be discussed at all in this old boozer was incongruous enough but the topic of reincarnation was a compelling one.
“Tam. Whit’s interesting about reincarnation is that in a previous life you’d still be an annoying prick” This offered by Stevie ‘Jolly’ Taylor who was thus named because he hadn’t a cheerful word to say about anything or anybody.
Outside there was early winter sunshine and the sound of kango-gun breaking up concrete where they were laying the new tracks for the tram extension nobody seemed to want. The thing about Edinburgh Council was that it just did things seemingly regardless of popular opinion. To call it a democratic institution would be like calling Vladimir Putin a well-known CBBC presenter.
This auld pub had seen some sights over the years even appearing in the film Trainspotting as the venue in which Begbie starts a fight by chucking a beer glass over the balcony. Some gadgie even brought in tourists to gaze around it. No doubt they were puzzled by the seeming mundanity of the place and would only be cheered by auld Brewer sitting in the corner swearing at them in a stereotypically Celtic manner. No doubt they thought this was a plant, a feature of the tour but it was merely because he suffered from a version of Tourette’s that permanently drunk people had.
“Away ya f’in touristy bazza’s”. That kind of thing. They’d all be rushing back to Albuquerque or Tokyo or wherever saying they saw a real Scottish character like the film. Between Harry Lauder and Irvine Welsh we had sure conjured up an interesting international profile of auld be-kilted misers wielding sticks and auld jakeys hardly able to stand. Independence be fuck? More like needing treatment for dependency.
Indeed, the Central Bar stood within the structure that used to be Leith Central train station. That was why the film was called Trainspotting. Cos the junkies used to shoot up in what had become the empty shell of the station.
“In a future life I’d like to come back as a woman” So said Tam McGuire and the near silence in the pub changed to total.
This nervous hush was broken by a clearing of the throat of Hedwig Beaker who everyone knew as ‘The Spy’ due to his German name.
“Why’s that Tam?” and we waited an age for his answer which was enigmatic.
“Jist tae see whit I looked like in the bath!”
None present chose to ponder on that thought.
No comments:
Post a Comment