Political Haircuts

 Is this a Turkish barbers? Not really, unless one wants to delve into the history of colonialism and recent geo-politics and it turns out we do, me and this hairdresser chappy with the scant grasp of English let alone the Scots version of it.

“Off vark today?”

“No, no,”

“Vat you vark?”

“Hairdresser’s and allied trades inspectorate!”

This stuns the poor chap into silence until the international code of good manners forces him into resuming the conversation.

“You vatch news? Russia and Ukraine?”

“Yes, a terrible geo-political chess match with alarming implications.”

“Putin is madman and he can cut off gas for all Europe!”

“Yes, but he doesn’t like the potential of a NATO country on his very border.”

He appears appreciative of my grasp of world politics and considerately tonsures my sideburns like they are topiary.

I ask him what he thinks of Boris Johnson.

“He is idiot like Trump and his haircut is no good! You like him?”

“No, I despise the man. I’m Labour, really,”

“Ah! Tony Blair..?”

“Well, no. I mean..”

“I am Kurd from Iraq. He bomb my country for nothing and they steal oil,”

I am entering dangerous waters and at the same time being allied with Tony bastard’n Blair.

“I don’t like Blair, just his party and even then…!”

“He is liar and criminal your Tony Blair..!”

Fucking hell!! I’ll maybe go back to the Polish barber next time although we didn’t lift a finger for them in ’39. Maybe they won’t remember.