Parasite

“Sure everyone should pull their weight if they can” so said Tommy McCracken, only two of his bellies hanging over the not so sturdy table in the bar of The Marksman

“I’m a great avocado of the welfare state but it’s gone too far, surely?” This was a rhetorical question for Tommy McCracken had no interest in being interrupted.

The mad McCracken was half man half drinking machine. When he urinated in the mornings the very fumes had the effect of re-inebriation. He didn’t so much drink as ‘guzzle’ alcohol in much the same way as a 4x4 guzzles petrol. A key difference that the large petroleum corporations had any interest in fighting any wars whatsoever over Tommy McCracken.

Drink makes a man many things: drunk being the foremost of these, but also aggressive, morose, excessively merry and imprisoned. With Tommy McCracken, it made him none of these things. Instead he became moral philosopher, judge, jury, chat show guest and chief arbiter of the world around him.

No subject was below or above him. ..

Climate change: away ye go. Weather’s aye changin’. Jist look at Bonnyrigg!

The Middle-East – They heid towels in that roasting heat would make anyone bad-tempered!

What is a parallel universe? and could there potentially be ones that contain doppelgängers of everyone on Earth?  - If there are, says Tommy, they’ll be drinking in The Central Bar…!

Such a man as Tommy McCracken is a human phenomenon. A man who knows very little about anything but believes he knows everything about everything.

You’ll find his like in every town…!