German Nutter

That boays aw ower the place! Ah ken him anaw. He wis at some meeting or other tellin us about finding a dead boady in Berlin, a murder or summat. Harrowing tale fae a harrowing life by every account. Cheesy wiz less charitable…

“As if we didnae huv enough nutters in this country we hiv tae stert importin thum”

He’s freakin that lassie oot oan the seat in front of him as he’s mutterin sumthin unintelligable and rockin back and furrit in his chair. Christ knows if he’s oan sumthin or that’s jist his usual wiy o’ behavin’?

Wan thing fir sure ahm no’ gonnie re-introduce masel tae him. Ahm in enough hassle without old krauty boy jinin’ in anaw. Ye hud tae wonder whit was goin’ doon for him in Germany that he hus tae be ower here in Leith, bit we’re aw too polite tae ask him. Might take it as racist or suhink. Cannae say fuck all tae neabdy these days!

“Jist askin’ ye, pal. Were ye a loop-de-loop ower there anaw an’ they flung ye oot? We’d aw really like to hear the story!”

Steed ae that ye jist hid tae kid on the boay wis normal although he is evidently anythin’ but. Could be a real heid-the-baw, a murderer or that. Mibbe it wis him that killed someone in Berlin?

Noo he’s jist aboot sitting in the luggage rack bit an’ the wee lassie is getting’ well nervous. Who knows whit her story might be. Maybe she was molested once oan a bus an’ noo it’s lookin’ like happenin’ again?

I kin hardly go up to her and say ‘Dinnae worry, hen! He’s jist a mad, German druggie. His Bach is worse than his bite!’. I mean she might no’ get the joke and she’d be thinkin’ she’s goat me tae contend wi’ anaw.

German nutters, man!