I think me and the Queen would get on pretty well. This is despite me being a staunch republican and thinking the whole monarchy thing is a sick joke. I’d say that to her right off. I’d say ‘Here you! You and your feeble tribe are just a big racket and yeez must be pishing yourselves watchin’ us aw bow and scrape afore ye. Yoor jist a wee auld wummin, that’s aw, but I must admit I used tae fancy yer sister’.
She’d giggle at that in a coquettish way she keeps for a bit o’ rough she fancies and she’d think mibbe she’d met her very own John Brown (although admittedly, I cannae fish, hunt or shoot an’ I widnae know a grouse fae a peacock).
“That Rolf Harris but, eh?. Did ye no’ suss he wis a creepy cunt?”
“How dare you swear in front of me when I was first you fucking peasant”
At this we’d both howl with laughter and I’d tickle her one remaining corgi under its wee hairy chin.
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